[IWE] International alert levels

Alex Rutchka iwe@warhead.org.uk
Wed, 17 Jan 2007 14:45:26 -0500

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and 
have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or 
even" A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the 
blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been 
re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the 
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great 
fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its 
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in 
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was  precipitated by 
a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively 
paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of 
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and 
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: 
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" 
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs."  

They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only 
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.